MARRIAGE & FAMILY LIFE AT CBCEW

"Angels appear in the most unlikely places." The launch of the Family Group Movement in St Philip Evans parish, Cardiff

2012-02-23T05:09:00.000-08:00

As Father Peter McGrath's road trip across England and Wales continues, Yana Kennedy, Chair of the Parish Council, reports on the success of last weekend's Family Group launch at St Philip Evans parish, Llanedeyrn, Cardiff:

"I have heard it said that Angels appear in the most unlikely places and the Holy Spirit moves in mysterious ways. Who knew an Angel could be cunningly disguised as a 72 year old ‘mad as a bucket of frogs’ Australian Passionist priest called Fr Peter McGrath. Who would believe that in a small corner of Cardiff, in the middle of a council estate, in our parish church, the Holy Spirit would have such an effect on so many of us.

I’ll be honest. I had no idea! The small bunch of people who made up the ‘Way Forward’ group hoped that we could help the parish take the next step and hoped that someone would turn up on that cold Saturday morning. It was a given that the group would turn up but we suspected it might just be us and we were prepared to make the best of it. There were probably more than a few ‘silent prayers’ being said as we set up the hall and laid out the tea and coffee. We didn’t have long to wait before our prayers were more than answered! People came in, tentatively at first, then as more arrived the atmosphere relaxed and ‘the Angel Peter’ went round the room speaking to everyone and putting them at their ease.

We began with an outline of the future of our parish presented by Des Robertson (another of the aforementioned Angels in disguise!) I think everyone was surprised to learn just how far we had come and by the end of the presentation we were all ready for a cup of tea and a chance to discuss what we had heard. After tea it was Fr Peter’s turn. I am not sure I can adequately put into words what happened next but it involved some heartfelt words and actions, a few tears and lots and lots of laughter. Some of us were moved beyond words and I believe that all of us knew that we had been in the presence of the Holy Spirit. I will never forget it and I left there that day wanting to shout out loud about what I had experienced. This was happening in my church, it’s what I always believed my faith was meant to be – people coming together, being family to each other, loving one another and belonging.

Fr Peter remained with us over the weekend, speaking at all of the Masses and bringing his own unique brand of charismatic chaos with him. He invited those who were interested in forming family groups to meet on the Monday evening and discuss it further. The Way Forward Group came to the church hall early to set up the teas and coffees again and the silent prayers of hope were replaced with grateful prayers of thanks for the blessings of the weekend. The doors opened and even more people came, different ones from the Saturday, word had got around and people wanted to come together and do this Family Group thing!

Very much in evidence again was the Holy Spirit, inspiring us all as we moved from being strangers to friends and by the end of the evening we were put into our groups and became ‘family’. I have mentioned two unlikely Angels so far and as the saying goes, ‘good things happen in threes’ and so it is with us. Our third Angel came from Merthyr (I know, you couldn’t make it up!) and made all of this possible, he had this vision for our parish and has worked tirelessly to make it happen. All of this is ultimately down to you, Fr Tony. Thank you!!!

And so our journey begins, all of us with an eagerness to make it happen because we can see the potential unfurling before us. We have a ‘way forward’ and we have some very ‘unlikely’ Angels to guide us on our way!"

Four new Family Groups were formed at St Philip Evans Parish last weekend, including one Welsh speaking group. The deaf community in the parish also plans to form a Family Group in the near future. Father Peter will be in the Diocese of Plymouth this weekend.

Marriage Week Across the UK

2012-02-14T07:48:00.000-08:00

Although Marriage Week has ended, the celebrations and discussions it occasioned have left us with much to reflect on – and be thankful for. Over the weekend, two particularly special events in the dioceses of Shrewsbury and Clifton brought the week to a fitting close.

On Saturday, Bishop Declan Lang of the Diocese of Clifton offered a mass for married couples at the Cathedral Church of Saints Peter and Paul in Bristol. Bishop Lang personally invited couples celebrating significant anniversaries to take part in the service, and the result was a “joyous” testament to the importance of love and family. Photos from the event can be viewed here.

On Sunday, at the Diocese of Shrewsbury’s annual mass in celebration of marriage, the Rt. Rev. Mark Davies delivered to a congregation of over 300 a homily urging Catholics to speak out against Parliament’s motion to allow for same-sex marriage. His powerful words drew the attention of the national media and initiated a new round of public debate about the proposal. The full text of the homily is available here.

The Project Office invites you to reflect on these and all the events of Marriage Week 2012. Which were the most inspiring? The most informative? Which most helped you to grow in your understanding of what marriage is?

– Kathleen

Fr Peter McGrath in Leeds and Wakefield

2012-02-10T08:31:00.000-08:00

‘Making faces, into names, names into friends and friends into family’, Fr Peter McGrath, of the Passionist Order, came among us this month, all the way from Australia and at the age of 72, with the zeal of an early apostle to share the mission of Parish Family Groups [reports Breda Theakston].

Stopping in Leeds to visit family friends, on a much bigger tour of the parishes in England and Wales that have already started Parish Family Groups, Fr Peter was happy to go anywhere and meet anyone to share the good news of the Gospel in his startlingly fresh way. His core message is the very Gospel that animates Family Life Ministry ‘Love one another as I have loved you’, and he was here to share how Passionist Parish Family Life Groups do just that in hundreds of parishes in Australia and the United States sharing with all people, not just regular church goers, Jesus’ commandment anew. How? Small groups of about ten families meet once a month to do something fun and low budget.

In his inimitable way Fr Peter was all that we might associate with the bluff Australian male, but without the can in the hand or the corks on the hat, and a deal more real. Fr Peter greeted everyone in a direct and joshing style and as a true brother or sister. His ability to establish rapport and find what makes us tick was astonishing to me more used as I am to the double whammy of cool English reserve and hot Irish defensiveness.

Fr Peter explained to those gathered to hear him in the Chapel at Hinsley Hall, that his mission started in 1957 when he was sent to minister to a small congregation in a small tin hut in the Australian bush, ‘where I couldn’t do too much damage’ as he puts it. Far from damage within a few years the congregation had grown from some 20 families to one so big that when he was looking for people for the new parish council he was setting up 80 people applied.

Loneliness, Fr Peter said is a huge problem for many people and it is hidden even from our parish communities. To counter this Parish Family Groups become real communities by gathering for very ordinary low cost events like picnics and ‘bush walks’ where everybody is welcome and everyone accepted as they are. In this very ordinary, human way, as we get to know each other we begin to break through what Fr Peter calls ‘epidermal Christianity’ (skin deep) and we begin to share with each other the love of our Father in much the way that Jesus did, by loving one another.

All we would need to do is translate picnics and bush walks into events that suit our temperament and our climate (as most parishes already do) but have it based on as many groups of ten or twelve families as want to join in and will organise themselves. Parish Family Groups can be inter-generational or more particular groups like a parish with an older population might have ‘senior’ groups who meet every month for a fun low-cost activity. Holy Rosary Church in Chapeltown already does something like this with it’s community lunches, inspired by Growing Old Grace-fully.

On the evening of his stay here Fr Pater went to English Martyrs Church, Wakefield where he was very warmly welcomed by the evangelisation team there, plus several other parishioners who were curious to hear what he had to say.

The parishioner in Wakefield who had invited Fr Peter that evening captured something of the almost universal response to meeting Fr Peter when he said ‘The event was a real blessing to our Parish - an excellent evening. I'm certain something good will come from this’.

Meeting and greeting all people equally and by name and with a strong attentive personal presence Fr McGrath might sound thoroughly intimidating but he is not. He manages to make everyone smile, many people laugh and leaves just a few a little unsure how to take this hard talking Aussie priest who wears his heart on his black jumper (the Passionist badge) topped with the cross of Jesus so no one is in any doubt about who he serves and who he wants is all to know.

He certainly made faces into names and names into friends in his all too brief visit here. The question now is will we friends do what it takes to become family?

6th National Relationships Education Conference

2012-02-09T16:00:00.000-08:00

Another great Marriage Week UK event took place today at One Wimpole Street: the 6th National Relationships Education conference. Too late in the day to blog much about it now but there were some excellent presentations including four more from Scott Stanley!

Chaired by Sir Paul Coleridge the programme began with some 'setting the scene' contextualisation before moving on to look at Forming Safe Relationships, Building Resilient Relationships and Measuring Our Impact. A very rich programme with tonnes of food for thought and some great examples of practice.

All the conference presentations are or will be available online at 2-in-2-1.co.uk who co-hosted the event with the Relationships Foundation.

Elizabeth

Marriage Week Continues...Scott Stanley Seminar

2012-02-08T11:51:00.000-08:00

We are only two-plus days into Marriage Week UK, and I've already had the pleasure of listening to Scott Stanley...twice. A host of people, including Elizabeth Davies and I, made the trek to the Marriage Care offices in West London this morning to listen to Professor Stanley of the University of Denver give another lecture on marriage. During this morning's lecture, Professor Stanley supplemented Monday night's material with his thoughts on commitment and the data to support his words. His lecture focused heavily on premarital cohabitation and how decades of research show that it is associated with more difficulties in marriage. Professor Stanley made the point that cohabitation makes it harder to break up because it increases constraints.

After Professor Stanley's seminar, Professor Jan Walker of the University of Newcastle, Dr. Martina Klett-Davies of Open University, and Bridie Collins of Marriage Care opened a discussion segment by talking briefly about the nature of marriage and cohabitation in the United Kingdom today. They did a great job of relating Professor Stanley's data from the United States to U.K. data, and questions about the theological and social aspects of marriage prompted intriguing discussion.

This morning's seminar and discussion stood as a great opportunity to engage in thoughtful conversation about the importance of marriage and the evolving dynamics of relationships today. It was yet another excellent event in Marriage Week UK!

- Greg

PS Learn more about Scott Stanley's work at his blog and take part in an Open University study into enduring relationships here.

Reflecting on the Marriage Week Launch

2012-02-07T06:45:00.003-08:00

The Houses of Parliament, where the official opening of Marriage Week UK occurred yesterday evening, are a stone’s throw away from one of my favorite places in London, glorious Westminster Abbey. There, last April – as Rabbi Mirvis reminded us in his address – a marriage that captivated a significant swath of the world’s population took place. As a Catholic who believes very strongly in the value and sacramental nature of marriage, I’d like to interpret the public support for that wedding, of Will and Kate, as an indication that we, as a society, remain hopeful about the possibilities of marriage – or at least see it as a nice ideal towards which to strive!

However, as an institution, marriage – as the assortment of MP’s and religious and public figures who attended last night’s event would argue – is more than an ideal, it’s a social necessity. So it was appropriate that the Rabbi’s very eloquent talk was followed by a sobering presentation from Professor Scott Stanley, who made clear the devastating emotional effects that living with unmarried or separated parents can have on children; and a spirited address by Sir Paul Coleridge, who spoke of the importance of defending marriage in a society that often regards it as "outdated," or simply unrealistic. The evening, then, was both a celebration, a sharing of insights, and a call to arms – in short, an event that my fellow interns and I were privileged to be able to attend. Thanks to Elizabeth and Hannah for making everything possible!

– Kathleen

The three interns in Parliament at the Marriage Week Launch.

Marriage Week UK launches tonight!

2012-02-06T07:27:00.000-08:00

Marriage Week UK will be launched in the Houses of Parliament this evening with presentations by Sir Paul Coleridge, Rabbi Mirvis and Professor Scott Stanley. The week runs from the 7th-14th February and is a chance for churches and community groups to actively nurture healthy marriages.

Project Office interns Kathleen Hull, Greg Doonan and Dylan Kickham, from the University of Notre Dame, are attending the launch and will be updating this blog with their thoughts later this week.

On Wednesday, Elizabeth and Greg are taking part in a private seminar with Scott Stanley hosted by Marriage Care. On Thursday, Elizabeth will be at the 6th National Relationships Conference organised by the Relationships Foundation.

Around the country, celebrations of marriage have been planned in Leeds and Shrewsbury dioceses. Members of FAMILIAS in the South and East region have organised a seminar to mark the 30th anniversary of Familiaris Consortio on Saturday, February 11th.

Fr Peter McGrath has landed!

2012-02-05T11:29:00.000-08:00

Fr Peter (left) at a preliminary meeting last June

Australian priest and founder of the Passionist Family Groups Movement, Fr Peter McGrath, has just landed back in the UK for an extensive roadtrip around eight of our dioceses to prepare the way for more Family Groups to be launched. He has spent this weekend back at St Wilfrid's, Northwich in Shrewsbury Diocese which he first visited last November - visit the parish website to learn something of the impact he's had there.From Northwich Fr Peter will be travelling to the dioceses of Leeds, Hallam, Lancaster, Cardiff, Plymouth, East Anglia and Southwark. During his visit to Wales Fr Peter will launch Family Groups in St Philip Evans parish in Llanedeyrn, Cardiff. We hope to post more news of his roadtrip here as it unfolds....

Where can you hear Fr Peter?February 8th: English Martyrs Church, Wakefield

Children's well-being at the heart of everything we do

2012-01-23T06:42:00.000-08:00

The Children's Society is calling for a radical new approach to childhood in which children's well-being is placed at the heart of everything we do as a society. The Good Childhood Report 2012 is the first of a planned series of annual reports that will monitor and describe the subjective well-being of children and is based on joint research by The Children's Society and the University of York. It reveals that positive, loving and stable relationships are critical to a child’s sense of well-being and happiness. Catholic parishes and schools have been actively engaged in providing for children’s well-being in this way by offering community-based courses in which parents can learn and practice the skills of respectful family communication.

Family ministry and social action coordinators in Cardiff, East Anglia, Hallam, Leeds, Plymouth, Portsmouth, Middlesbrough, Shrewsbury and Wrexham currently promote parenting programmes and train facilitators as part of a long term investment in strengthening families and forming their faith in God. One parent told us "My husband and I were able to attend a course together and it has had positive effects, personally and spiritually, on our relationship as co-parents, and on the children and the family unit as a whole." Another said, "My children are both telling me they love me more often. The changes in my behaviour and theirs has contributed to this." Joanne White, Cardiff Archdiocese’s Parenting Support Worker explained, "Parents gain so much from talking to each other in an environment that is supportive. They feel better equipped to manage difficulties with children and crisis points are no longer reached because parents have strategies to tackle problems that may have seemed overwhelming before."

Fun, Laughter and £5000 Raised for Charity at OLOV's Family Group Auction Dinner

2012-01-03T08:48:00.000-08:00

The Passionist Family Group Movement at Our Lady of Victories (OLOV) Parish, Kensington is celebrating the success of their annual Charity Auction Dinner in December 2011, which raised nearly £5000 for charity. Family Group Coordinator Glenda Clarke told us "it was a spectacular night with great performances, great food and great company." In fact the evening was so successful that bookings have already been made for the December 2012 event!

The dioceses of England and Wales are also looking forward to the arrival of the Passionist Family Group Movement's (PFGM) Australian founder and leader Father Peter McGrath on 31st January 2012, for a six week visit. During his stay Father Peter will travel across the country to meet with parish priests, local families and Family Ministry coordinators in nine dioceses, laying the foundations for the launch of eight new Family Group Pilots later this year.

Grandparents' Mass at Liverpool Metropolitan Cathedral, Sunday 18th December 2011

2011-12-14T07:25:00.000-08:00

Marriage and Family Life Diocesan Coordinators Clara Donnelly and Maureen O'Brien are delighted to announce that a Grandparents' Mass will be held at Liverpool Metropolitan Cathedral of Christ the King on 18th December at 11am to which everybody is warmly invited. The celebrants are The Most Reverend Patrick Kelly Archbishop of Liverpool Diocese and Rt Rev. Brian Noble, Bishop Emeritus, Diocese of Shrewsbury. Grandparents are welcome to bring along their children and their grandchildren. The children will make Christmas cards for grandparents which will be presented at the Offertory Procession, and refreshments will be available afterwards in the Gibberd Room. Catherine Wiley, founder of the Catholic Grandparents Association (CGA) will speak at the beginning of Mass.

Clara told us that she was inspired to do more in support of the CGA after hearing Catherine Wiley speak movingly about grandparents' days and grandparents' pilgrimages at a national event in October 2010. Clara subsequently attended the Walsingham pilgrimage for grandparents in July 2011 and decided it was time to do something in her own diocese. By chance she was invited as a ‘surrogate granny’ to a grandparents’ day at a Catholic Primary on the Wirral, by a five year old girl whose own grandmother lives in Northern Ireland and couldn't attend. The head teacher gave Clara permission to distribute the CGA’s leaflets at the event which was attended by over 200 grandparents. A few weeks later Clara was invited to a similar event at her own grandson’s school. The event also attracted over 200 grandparents and Clara was able to distribute CGA leaflets and lead the gathering in the Grandparents' Prayer specially written for grandparents by Pope Benedict XVI. Mrs Frost, the school's head teacher said afterwards,

“It really was one of the most rewarding events we have organised as the enjoyment that was shared was so evident and the appreciation of grandparents very clearly expressed”.

Grandmothers at the 2011 Aylesford Grandparents' Pilgrimage

Clara has since spoken to seven head teachers in Shrewsbury Diocese about the value of grandparents’ days and will address many more head teachers in the New Year. The response has been overwhelmingly positive so far, with all seven head teachers confident that they will be able to organize a grandparents' day in their school before the end of the academic year.

The Project Office Bids Farewell to its Notre Dame Interns

2011-12-14T03:32:00.000-08:00

We bid farewell this week to our two Notre Dame University interns: Meghan Davis and Kevin Bartlett, who have been working with us for the past three months. Meghan has helped Elizabeth with the analysis of the results of the Bishops' Conference 2010 Catholic Marriage Preparation Survey, which were presented at the first National Marriage Preparation Conference on 4-5 November. Kevin has been working in the Bishops' Conference Editing Suite helping to prepare archive documents and assisting with the design of the Familiaris Consortio 30th Anniversary resource. We asked him how he had found the experience:

"I really enjoyed my semester working for the Marriage and Family Life Project Office. Learning about website design was a really valuable experience. I got the opportunity to help design and build a website, which was interesting because it was different work than my normal class work. I am really thankful that I got to spend a semester working here in London; got to go on hikes in the Lake District, bike across the Aran Islands and explore Paris, Rome, and all sorts of places which were indescribable. Thanks so much to Elizabeth Davies and Hannah Moruzzi for letting me work here this semester, and also to James Abbott and David McBride for all their help with the website design, and for the training they gave me."

The Project Office is now looking forward to the arrival of three new Notre Dame Interns in January 2012 who will help to research and design an online resource on Catholic Marriage.

Advent Family Fun at Pantasaph

2011-12-08T10:01:00.000-08:00

A couple of weeks ago I (Elizabeth) visited Pantasaph, near Holywell in north Wales, to take part in the annual Advent Family Fun Day organised by the Diocesan Commission for Marriage and Family Life. It was my first visit to Pantasaph and rather worryingly, once off the A55, my satnav led me up a very steep hill towards a field in the middle of nowhere. Thankfully a little further on I found the sign pointing towards the Pilgrims Hall....

I had gone with the main intention of interviewing Commission members about their funded Celebrating Family project but I was curious to find out more about this event, having seen photos of previous year’s activity. Inside the hall I found a large number of families and children from various parishes across the diocese, all very busy at different tables experiencing different craft activities all themed for Advent: wreath making, decorated biscuits, hanging lantern decorations and so forth. View the film clip for a better idea of the activities and the atmosphere.

This is the third year the Commission have organised such an event and judging by the noise and excited participation, it was, yet again, extremely successful. I met one lady who had brought the whole children’s liturgy group from her parish and also a young mother, there for the second year running because she had found that the event offered her, her husband and her very young children an opportunity to engage happily together in something that was both fun and faith-related. In making the decision to prioritise the fun day this couple were making memories for their children, building relationships with other families who share their values and creating items that would provide food for thought and on-going conversation at home for years to come.

I was especially impressed with the quality of the craft activities and the buzz around the hall as everyone obviously had a very good time. The Fun Day concluded with Mass celebrated by Bishop Edwin, during which Pauline Stanway, one of the Commission members was congratulated on recently completing her MA studies in Leadership for Family Ministry and Faith Formation.

"The Heart of the Deepest Truth is truly wonderful" - Clara Donnelly, Marriage & Family Life Ministry Coordinator, Diocese of Shrewsbury

2011-11-28T05:12:00.000-08:00

'The Heart of the Deepest Truth' this is truly wonderful. Have dipped into it over the past few days and the information and the way it is led out is fantastic. Many congrats to all.

"Wow! I really enjoyed the interviews with Archbishop Vincent Nichols" - Breda Theakston, Family Life Ministry Coordinator, Diocese of Leeds

2011-11-24T07:16:00.000-08:00

Wow! I really enjoyed the interviews with Archbishop Vincent Nichols on Familiaris Consortio, thank you so much for this great resource! I had no idea he had been at the Synod on the family and I found his insights into the process absolutely fascinating and very useful.

It is even more clear to me now how much has to be done to develop the treasures therein (FC) and, as he said, render church teaching truly accessible. In particular, his key questions in 7 really help me to think about, and proceed with, family ministry:

How do we encourage a vision of marriage as a vocation?

How does a parish offer support to its families quite explicitly rather than just assuming that the family give support to the parish?

How do we recognise that family is the basic school of faith and prayer?

How do we support those whose hope have not worked out and who feel rejected?

I also appreciated his recognition of how much more difficult life is for families these days which makes early, preventative, support so important, and particularly in the task of parenting.

Familiaris Consortio Reflections

2011-11-23T06:51:00.000-08:00

The MFL Project Office is inviting family ministry practitioners to select a favourite passage from Familiaris Consortio and reflect on the way in which it has influenced or inspired them in their ministry. To offer your own reflection please either contact the MFL Project Office or post it here. Here are the first two reflections for you to enjoy:

Phil Butcher - Coordinator for Marriage & Family Life Ministry, Diocese of Brentwood: The future of humanity passes by way of the family. It is therefore indispensable and urgent that every person of good will should endeavor to save and foster the values and requirements of the family (Familiaris Consortio, 86)

Jillian Wilce - Family Life Project Coordinator, Diocese of Plymouth: Since in God’s plan it (the family) has been established as an ‘intimate community of life and love’, the family has the mission to become more and more what it is, that is to say, a community of life and love’ (Familiaris Consortio, 17)

"I particularly like this piece as it requires of the family only to love well. It echoes the words of St. Irenaeus that the glory of God is to be fully alive. This authentic rubbing alongside one another in the joys and sorrows of life, trying to commune authentically and in love with those about us, is our greatest challenge and our greatest joy. It is about the full life that John tells us Jesus promised us. It also brings great freedom with it and unburdens us from our guilt over practice. As Richard Rohr says, ‘Jesus has a different understanding of personal freedom. Freedom is not the capacity to be what you are not, but the capacity to be fully who you already are, to develop your inherent self as much as God allows.’ Thus when we do come together as a wider family at the table of Our Lord for Eucharist, we continue in this ongoing dynamic of becoming more fully what we receive and what we are: the Body of Christ."

The Heart of the Deepest Truth - Familiaris Consortio 30th Anniversary Celebration

2011-11-23T04:07:00.000-08:00

The Marriage & Family Life Project Office are delighted to share with you a new multimedia archive celebrating the publication of Familiaris Consortio on November 22^nd 1981.

In planning this archive we’ve tried to bring together a flavour of the Church in England and Wales before and after this Apostolic Exhortation was published, particularly regarding contemporary concerns for the pastoral care of the family. This document contains a very clear and useful definition of family ministry, quite possibly the earliest we have from such an authoritative source.

The archive is called ‘The Heart of the Deepest Truth’, a quote taken from section 86 of the document, where the Pope writes about the genuine concern of the church to share with families the truth of who they are, for each other, for the life of God’s people and for all God’s creation. There are innumerable truths contained within the document Familiaris Consortio which are of inestimable value to families and the church. We hope that this archive will encourage people to re-visit the document or at least to feel a little more confident in dipping in to the various sections or familiar with some of the key themes.